Happy All Hallows’ Eve

~ from a Halloween party pooper ~

Have you noticed how in the last few years, Halloween has become extremely popular? I’ve actually heard someone say, “Halloween is my favorite holiday.” I must confess, I’m not that big a fan. I was raised in a household where treats of all sorts (chips, chocolate, popcorn twists, ju jubes) were available (in moderation, of course), so I never felt compelled to resort to dressing up and walking the streets to get my junk food fix.

Of course, when I was quite young, my dad would take us around Riverside to our grandparents’ and relatives and a handful of neighbors (a majority of whom were the aforesaid grandparents and relatives; I mean, hey, it was a small, rural community), and that was that. Not like some people I recall who, at one high school noon hour, drove themselves into town to go trick-or-treating. Also not like the 14-year-olds at Mom & Dad’s door one year whose voices gave them away. When it comes to trick-or-treating, the age of accountability may not be firmly fixed, but I’d think hitting puberty is a fairly good indicator one should stop.

And honestly, I find the displays at my local Shoppers Drug Mart repulsive: they’ve got the Grim Reaper, complete with scythe, in sculpted plastic leering at all passersby at the end of the aisle closest to the bins of Halloween treats. It’s (almost) enough to turn me off chocolate. That’s why I found it disturbing to read Tony Hicks’s article, “Really scary stuff: is Halloween décor too adult for the kids?” in this past Saturday’s Ottawa Citizen (p. J4-J5). The author shared that his five-year-old “weeps uncontrollably at the sight of a dead roly-poly bug, but doesn’t bat an eyelash at the disemboweled rubber man on a torture rack” in the Halloween store. In fact, she “giggles at the decapitated head on the ground.” Strange. No way I’m going to frequent that store.

Oh, and by the way, Halloween’s not a “holiday.” Not yet. Betcha’ within a couple of years someone will lobby to make it a stat.

So I guess you’ve gathered that we’re not going to be handing out treats to the little darlings. Nope, not this year. The few I’ve bought, we’re keeping. Actually, I have French class tonight. But after that, I think I’ll need to indulge in le chocolat.